FAM 322!

I can't believe how fast this semester has gone by! I'm not going to lie though; I'm definitely ready for summer. Human sexuality has been a GREAT class, and Rob did a GREAT job teaching it! Seriously though, I really enjoyed this class, and I think it has taught me some very beneficial information that if I ever find myself teaching a Human Sexuality course, I will have some really good ideas for approaching the variety of topics that we covered. At the beginning of the semester I was a little nervous about this class, but soon after I started looking forward to coming to class each day. Below is a wordle I created using words from the major concepts we covered throughout the semester!

Sexual Assault

On the topic of sexual assault, there does tend to be the notion that women who get sexually assaulted are usually asking for it, whether they are dressed in skimpy clothes, dancing promiscuously at a bar, or have a bad reputation. According to Martha Burt who put together numerous myths about sexual assault, none of these are true, and in fact any female can get raped. In my opinion however, it may not be so much that they are 'asking for it,' and they certainly don't deserve it, as no one does, but I do think that when women dress or act promiscuously, they are drawing unwanted, negative attention to themselves. I honestly do believe that girls know what they're doing when they act and dress in this way. They are looking for attention, and it drives me crazy when I see this, because it's not positive attention at all. Now this isn't the case with all rape victims. I read in one of my textbooks this semester that often rapists look at people's body posture and gesture when they choose victims. I can't remember exactly why this was, but I believe it was along the lines of when people slouch or display any other gestures that give off the impression of insecurity or weakness, it makes them more attractive victims. No matter what role the victim is in, they are just that; a victim, and sexual assault is a very serious and scary issue that affects people of all ages, gender, and sexual orientation. As well, it occurs within different relationships. A victim can be a complete stranger, a friend, acquaintance or family member, and as discussed in class, 80% of the time, the victim actually knows the assailant.

Sexual Dysfunctions

The other day in class we talked about sexual dysfunctions. We were asked what comes to mind when you think sexual dysfunctions. When I first thought about it, I figured problems that men may have or problems among older people. However, the textbook definition of sexual dysfunctions are the persistent or recurrent difficulties becoming sexually aroused or reaching orgasm. From this definition, the thoughts that come to mind cover a much broader selection of people which may include woman as well as men, and not only older people, but younger too. There are two types of sexual dysfunctions, one being sexual desire disorders and the other being sexual arousal disorders. Sexual desire disorder is when an individual has little or no sexual interest, while sexual arousal disorder is the physiological inability to engage in sexual activity - while men may have have troubles with erection, women may have trouble with lubrication for example. It was also discussed that likely everyone has or will experience some form of sexual dysfunction with their partner, it is just not widely talked about. Effective communication and listening skills come in important here, if a couple is having troubles with sexual dysfunctions, then it is important that they should be able to talk about it. If not, the partner experiencing the dysfunction may feel embarrassed, mad, or undergo performance anxiety, likely making the problem worse. However, sexual dysfunctions are not always problems that persist through ones entire life, sometimes they are acquired. As well, just because a person experiences a sexual dysfunction, does not mean that it will happen every time they try to engage in sexual activity. An interesting point can be made however about the name sexual dysfunctions. The way in which people refer to dysfunctions denotes it as being a negative thing. However, we can think about this in terms of Kinsey's studies, who defines sexual normalcy? What is regarded as a dysfunction by most people, some people might be completely fine with. As with most topics pertaining to sexuality, it is what works for you that is the most important factor, and there is not necessarily a right or wrong way.

Sex Education

Okay so my experience with sex ed in grade school wasn't quite that ridiculous, but it might as well have been. I remember in grade five we had one day where a couple of public health nurses came into our class and talked to all of the girls about getting our first periods. They answered questions that we had, and I'm sure it gave us a vague picture of what to expect. However, seeing as the boys weren't with us, I was wondering where they were, and if they were learning the same stuff as us or if they got to go outside and play, because this was 'girl talk.' I think that splitting up the boys from the girls is a huge mistake. It's no wonder so many guys tend to shy away from period talk; as their teachers shied away from teaching it to them, ultimately teaching them then that it's not a normal process that should be talked about. They were taught that they don't have to learn about it, so it must be something that they don't need to know anything about. I think that maybe a better way to try teaching sexual education would be to keep all of the students together to learn, but then afterwards split into smaller groups (mixed gender or same gender) to ask more private questions.

Moving into junior high, the only memory I took away from the sex ed topic in Health class was a movie we watched. It was of a woman in labour, and my teacher found it necessary to pause the video at the part where the baby was coming out. I remember my one guy friend sitting behind me had his eyes closed for the whole movie, and opened them when he heard it stop, only to find this picture on the screen. He let out a disgusted noise and kept his eyes shut the rest of the class. I thought that watching that movie was entirely inappropriate, unnecessary and honestly just gross to a bunch of grade 9 students. I clearly was not the only person who was disgusted, and I think that this made us not want to learn anything else. I think that maybe my teacher just had no idea how to teach sex education, and as we discussed in class, the most common critique of sex educators is that they're under trained, and teachers can basically teach this topic in anyway they choose, without other teachers knowing or questioning what they do. Honestly, if I ever found myself teaching a sexual education course, I would definitely ask what other teachers have done. I would not show videos that just made my students feel sick and uncomfortable, and I would want to teach every student the same topics, including many of the topics we have discussed so far in FAM. I think that issues relating to puberty for males and females should be taught, different orientations of sexuality and even, like the video above talked about, abstinence or safe sex, but in a way that isn't just going to be made fun of.    

Marriage or Cohabitation

I know a girl who has been with her boyfriend for seven years. She is 24 now, both her and her boyfriend have their careers, and she really wants to get married. They live together and she makes her desire to get married very obvious, and she has for a couple years now. I think that in his opinion, it's like they're already married, so why should they actually take that step. I think this becomes a huge issue when couples decide to take the step of cohabitation, and for this reason, along with others, I would not endorse cohabitation before marriage. My boyfriend knows this very well, and when we were in Disneyland with my family, my sister told me that they were talking about the story above, and my boyfriend replied with, "Wow, Jess would not stick with me that long if that were us." Which might not be entirely true, but I think it is almost disrespectful, that the guy in my story doesn't respect what his girlfriend wants so badly. I know that a lot of couples do decide to live together before marriage. I was talking about marriage with a girl I work with. We were talking about how a lot of people we went to school with were already getting married, and her opinion was that was so crazy, because you would think they would want to live together first to see if they could actually stand living with each other before they got married. In this way, it sounded like she thought of it as more of a test before marriage. I still don't agree with this, and I believe that if you are dating someone for long enough that you do decide you want to get married, you likely spend a large portion of time together and know pretty much everything there is to know about them anyway. Considering that this trend of cohabitation has recently become more common, and divorce rates have also increased, wouldn't you think there might be some connection?

Why are Women so Embarrassed by our Periods?

I saw this commercial on TV the other day, and I thought it was really funny. It ties into what we were talking about at the beginning of the year with women being very reserved about our bodies and our sexuality. This video is funny, because it's true for a lot of women. We do tend to be embarrassed by our periods, and feel obligated to hide it, as if other people might act awkwardly toward us, or even more annoying; jump to blame any sign of moodiness on PMS.  

Feminism - The F-Word

In the film, "The F-Word: Who Wants to be a Feminist?" numerous girls were asked if they would consider themselves feminists, and a lot of them said no. Honestly, I would have probably given the same answer. I've never really given it much thought, and there does tend to be a negative connotation with the word feminist, as such is depicted in the picture to the left. I don't think that feminism is about women trying to make belittle or devalue men. In the movie they defined feminism as caring about what's happening to women and believing that they should have the same rights as men. When feminism is put this way, then I guess I am a feminist, because I do believe that women and men should be treated as equals. I think though, that for the most part, I have never really had to think about it. In no way have I ever felt discriminated against for being a woman or that I have had less opportunities available than that of men. In the film they said that women receive 20% less pay than men in the same jobs. This must be true or it wouldn't have been put in the video, but I find this hard to believe, and I really haven't heard of this happening before. I truly believed that inequalities such as this were no longer prevalent, and it does make me feel annoyed. As for right now though, I don't feel like feminism is really a big issue that I am personally facing. Maybe I will feel differently when I get out into the workforce, but as for right now if anyone asks me if I'm a feminist, my answer would not be a yes or a no, but instead I would say I'm a woman, the same as probably most other women in Canada, who believes that females should be treated with the same equality and respect given to any man.