I can't believe how fast this semester has gone by! I'm not going to lie though; I'm definitely ready for summer. Human sexuality has been a GREAT class, and Rob did a GREAT job teaching it! Seriously though, I really enjoyed this class, and I think it has taught me some very beneficial information that if I ever find myself teaching a Human Sexuality course, I will have some really good ideas for approaching the variety of topics that we covered. At the beginning of the semester I was a little nervous about this class, but soon after I started looking forward to coming to class each day. Below is a wordle I created using words from the major concepts we covered throughout the semester!
Tuesday, 3 April 2012
Sexual Assault
On the topic of sexual assault, there does tend to be the notion that women who get sexually assaulted are usually asking for it, whether they are dressed in skimpy clothes, dancing promiscuously at a bar, or have a bad reputation. According to Martha Burt who put together numerous myths about sexual assault, none of these are true, and in fact any female can get raped. In my opinion however, it may not be so much that they are 'asking for it,' and they certainly don't deserve it, as no one does, but I do think that when women dress or act promiscuously, they are drawing unwanted, negative attention to themselves. I honestly do believe that girls know what they're doing when they act and dress in this way. They are looking for attention, and it drives me crazy when I see this, because it's not positive attention at all. Now this isn't the case with all rape victims. I read in one of my textbooks this semester that often rapists look at people's body posture and gesture when they choose victims. I can't remember exactly why this was, but I believe it was along the lines of when people slouch or display any other gestures that give off the impression of insecurity or weakness, it makes them more attractive victims. No matter what role the victim is in, they are just that; a victim, and sexual assault is a very serious and scary issue that affects people of all ages, gender, and sexual orientation. As well, it occurs within different relationships. A victim can be a complete stranger, a friend, acquaintance or family member, and as discussed in class, 80% of the time, the victim actually knows the assailant.
Monday, 2 April 2012
Sexual Dysfunctions
Thursday, 29 March 2012
Sex Education
Okay so my experience with sex ed in grade school wasn't quite that ridiculous, but it might as well have been. I remember in grade five we had one day where a couple of public health nurses came into our class and talked to all of the girls about getting our first periods. They answered questions that we had, and I'm sure it gave us a vague picture of what to expect. However, seeing as the boys weren't with us, I was wondering where they were, and if they were learning the same stuff as us or if they got to go outside and play, because this was 'girl talk.' I think that splitting up the boys from the girls is a huge mistake. It's no wonder so many guys tend to shy away from period talk; as their teachers shied away from teaching it to them, ultimately teaching them then that it's not a normal process that should be talked about. They were taught that they don't have to learn about it, so it must be something that they don't need to know anything about. I think that maybe a better way to try teaching sexual education would be to keep all of the students together to learn, but then afterwards split into smaller groups (mixed gender or same gender) to ask more private questions.
Moving into junior high, the only memory I took away from the sex ed topic in Health class was a movie we watched. It was of a woman in labour, and my teacher found it necessary to pause the video at the part where the baby was coming out. I remember my one guy friend sitting behind me had his eyes closed for the whole movie, and opened them when he heard it stop, only to find this picture on the screen. He let out a disgusted noise and kept his eyes shut the rest of the class. I thought that watching that movie was entirely inappropriate, unnecessary and honestly just gross to a bunch of grade 9 students. I clearly was not the only person who was disgusted, and I think that this made us not want to learn anything else. I think that maybe my teacher just had no idea how to teach sex education, and as we discussed in class, the most common critique of sex educators is that they're under trained, and teachers can basically teach this topic in anyway they choose, without other teachers knowing or questioning what they do. Honestly, if I ever found myself teaching a sexual education course, I would definitely ask what other teachers have done. I would not show videos that just made my students feel sick and uncomfortable, and I would want to teach every student the same topics, including many of the topics we have discussed so far in FAM. I think that issues relating to puberty for males and females should be taught, different orientations of sexuality and even, like the video above talked about, abstinence or safe sex, but in a way that isn't just going to be made fun of.
Marriage or Cohabitation
I know a girl who has been with her boyfriend for seven years. She is 24 now, both her and her boyfriend have their careers, and she really wants to get married. They live together and she makes her desire to get married very obvious, and she has for a couple years now. I think that in his opinion, it's like they're already married, so why should they actually take that step. I think this becomes a huge issue when couples decide to take the step of cohabitation, and for this reason, along with others, I would not endorse cohabitation before marriage. My boyfriend knows this very well, and when we were in Disneyland with my family, my sister told me that they were talking about the story above, and my boyfriend replied with, "Wow, Jess would not stick with me that long if that were us." Which might not be entirely true, but I think it is almost disrespectful, that the guy in my story doesn't respect what his girlfriend wants so badly. I know that a lot of couples do decide to live together before marriage. I was talking about marriage with a girl I work with. We were talking about how a lot of people we went to school with were already getting married, and her opinion was that was so crazy, because you would think they would want to live together first to see if they could actually stand living with each other before they got married. In this way, it sounded like she thought of it as more of a test before marriage. I still don't agree with this, and I believe that if you are dating someone for long enough that you do decide you want to get married, you likely spend a large portion of time together and know pretty much everything there is to know about them anyway. Considering that this trend of cohabitation has recently become more common, and divorce rates have also increased, wouldn't you think there might be some connection?
Thursday, 22 March 2012
Why are Women so Embarrassed by our Periods?
I saw this commercial on TV the other day, and I thought it was really funny. It ties into what we were talking about at the beginning of the year with women being very reserved about our bodies and our sexuality. This video is funny, because it's true for a lot of women. We do tend to be embarrassed by our periods, and feel obligated to hide it, as if other people might act awkwardly toward us, or even more annoying; jump to blame any sign of moodiness on PMS.
Monday, 19 March 2012
Feminism - The F-Word
In the film, "The F-Word: Who Wants to be a Feminist?" numerous girls were asked if they would consider themselves feminists, and a lot of them said no. Honestly, I would have probably given the same answer. I've never really given it much thought, and there does tend to be a negative connotation with the word feminist, as such is depicted in the picture to the left. I don't think that feminism is about women trying to make belittle or devalue men. In the movie they defined feminism as caring about what's happening to women and believing that they should have the same rights as men. When feminism is put this way, then I guess I am a feminist, because I do believe that women and men should be treated as equals. I think though, that for the most part, I have never really had to think about it. In no way have I ever felt discriminated against for being a woman or that I have had less opportunities available than that of men. In the film they said that women receive 20% less pay than men in the same jobs. This must be true or it wouldn't have been put in the video, but I find this hard to believe, and I really haven't heard of this happening before. I truly believed that inequalities such as this were no longer prevalent, and it does make me feel annoyed. As for right now though, I don't feel like feminism is really a big issue that I am personally facing. Maybe I will feel differently when I get out into the workforce, but as for right now if anyone asks me if I'm a feminist, my answer would not be a yes or a no, but instead I would say I'm a woman, the same as probably most other women in Canada, who believes that females should be treated with the same equality and respect given to any man.
Sunday, 11 March 2012
Sexual Fantasy
This clip is from the television show The Big Bang Theory. It relates to the topics of sexual fantasy and masturbation, which are highly correlated. Additionally it is said that while there are heavy social proscriptions against masturbation, it is widely practiced. This particular clip ties into the comment in class about often times the object of ones' sexual fantasies is not ones' actual partner. Obviously, Howard is not actually in a relationship with Katee Sackhoff from Battlestar Galactica, he is actually seeing Burnadette, who "Katee" is trying to convince Howard to go be with, rather than fantasize about other, fake, women.
Monday, 5 March 2012
Glamourization of the "Teen Mom"
I can't say I have ever actually watched the shows like "Teen Mom" or "16 and Pregnant," but I seem to hear an awful lot about these young women. Without even having seen these shows I know what these girls look like, how many kids they've had, rumours of them being pregnant again, and if they're married (and filing for divorce soon after). Pictures of these young women are plastered onto the front of tons of magazines, they get put on TV, and everyone knows about them. In my opinion, this is showing girls an easy way to get famous is to get pregnant! From the magazines I have seen, these girls pose basically as models, with their adorable babies, in nice places. I think that whole picture is ridiculous. I do not think that being a teen mom should be glamourized. I can't say from experience or anything, but I think that having a child at such a young age would be anything but glamourous. Babies are a lot of work, they're expensive, and require constant attention, which in my mind, an average teenager cannot provide very well. I think that showing these stories of teen moms creates a bad image for young girls, because it honestly appears to look fun. They get their pictures on the covers of magazines, hollywood style lives and have cute babies. Maybe the producers of these types of shows will understand the wrongful image they are creating when someday they ask their little girl what she wants to be when she grows up, and she replies with, "a teen mom!"
Tuesday, 28 February 2012
Sexual Orientation
After watching the video on Brendan Burke, I really started thinking about different sexual orientations. I had never really been faced with sexual orientation other than heterosexual orientation growing up. I come from a small town, where no one really talked about it. I was talking about this the other day with my sisters, and we could actually name one person from each of our graduation classes' who had recently come out. None of them came out during school; I imagine this is because of the way they would be treated and mocked. When you actually think about it, this is really sad. People live a life hiding who they really are. I'm not saying that I agree with homosexuality, but I guess you might say I accept it. I am a Christian, and I have grown up learning it is wrong to be gay. I have often wondered though, this might sound ignorant, but how do people become gay? Is there a "gay" gene? Is it a choice? Could it sometimes just be a cry for attention? Any way, I'm not one to judge someone based on their sexual orientation, I don't think this makes them a bad person, or means they will inevitably go to Hell as some people suggest. I think that what relationships people have is their own business, and as long as they are not publicly displaying their affection in inappropriate ways, heterosexual or homosexual, I don't really think it is anyone else's business to judge them.
Monday, 27 February 2012
Relationships
George Levinger came up with a theory to explain the lifespan of a relationship called the ABC(DE) model. The ABC(DE) acronym stands for Attraction, Building, Continuation, Deterioration, and Ending. In relating this to my own relationship with my boyfriend, I would consider the attraction stage as when we would hang out together with mutual friends. It was always exciting to hang out with friends, because we knew we would get to see each other. This stage makes me think of having a 'crush' on each other. The building stage would be when we actually started dating. We chose to make a commitment to each other, in which we could build a relationship out of. In this stage I think of the difference between having a 'crush' and actually calling him my boyfriend. In the continuation stage, this is where the decision is made to keep committed to each other; the daily desire I feel to continue my relationship with him. It is this stage that I would say we're going through now, but in a more difficult way than I would think the continuation stage has to be. As we now live three hours apart, and will for at least the next two years, it really becomes a daily commitment to work to keep our relationship strong. The deterioration stage is when one of the partners no longer wants to remain in the relationship. As this obviously hasn't happened with my current relationship, I will relate it to my past experiences. In one past relationship this occurred with the build up of disagreements and differences, in which we both decided outweighed the benefits of our relationship, (to relate to the social exchange theory), in which case lead to the ending stage where we parted ways.
Wednesday, 15 February 2012
Attraction
In class we did an activity about what we find attractive. For short-term relationships the list generally consisted of physical appearance attributions, while for the long-term relationships the list was comprised of more values and personality traits. I think that for the most part this is pretty right on, but I do think there is more to long-term relationship attraction. I think that to get to the long term relationship, there has to be a little bit of the short-term attraction features. This might sound shallow, but I think that to maintain a long-term relationship there has to be some physical attraction. Personality and values are much more important, but I don't think that two people can spend there whole life together while they try to convince themselves of their outward attraction towards each other. I think it could cause some fidelity issues if you aren't physically attracted to your husband or wife. For example if a wife doesn't think her husband is good-looking, she might be more likely to notice all the attractive men around her and start wishing her husband looked more like "that" man, and I would think that would put some strain on a relationship. Simply put, I wouldn't want to be with someone who wasn't attracted to me, because that would not make me feel good about myself in my relationship. My long-term relationship list would consist of traits such as, respectful, supportive, accepting, motivated and excited to do something with his life, makes me laugh, leads a healthy and active lifestyle, someone who I can have fun with and honestly, at least as tall as me and attractive. He doesn't have to look like Brad Pitt or Taylor Lautner, but just attractive in my eyes. Therefore, while it's is very important to be attracted to your partner's inward traits and personality, it is also important to be attracted to your partner physically.
Monday, 13 February 2012
Beauty
We watched this video last semester in my EDIT class, and I thought it was incredibly sad that so much effort is put into changing someones face before use in advertising. This girl doesn't even look like the same person from the before and after pictures. If it were me, I would feel so self-conscious about my looks even though I was put on a huge billboard, because it wouldn't be me. I wouldn't feel good about how I look, because they had to "fix" me before I was an attractive enough model. They thickened her hair, made her eyes bigger, smoothed out her skin, elongated her neck and then thinned her out. I think that putting on make-up is one thing, yes sometimes that too can be extreme, but when advertisers actually start using computers to modify someones face, that's when it goes too far, and the models start to look fake. This gives society the idea that some women are this beautiful, and girls should strive to look like this, however, it's impossible!
The Changing Definition of Beauty
I thought these pictures were really interesting. Christie Brinkley's career began in the 1970's and Cindy Crawford was one of the most popular models during the 1980's and 1990's. In comparing these two women with models today, we are able to see just how much thinner our supermodels have become. The two models in the bottom pictures look dangerously skinny. It is no wonder why so many girls suffer from eating disorders when the women who are representing ideal beauty are stick thin. I really hope that one day soon, media and society in general will come to the realization that this expectation of women is unhealthy and completely unrealistic. Honestly, comparing the two pictures, I would way rather look like a model from the 1980's, and from my understanding, it seems like on average men are more attracted to curvy women than the severely underweight women with their bones sticking out.
Sunday, 12 February 2012
Gender
In class we did an activity where we selected some well-known people who represent the ideal of each femininity and masculinity. Our list for masculinity included Arnold Schwarzenegger, George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Will Smith. For femininity, our list consisted of Michelle Obama, Betty White, Lady Gaga and Marilyn Monroe. I thought it was really amusing how much the lists differed from each other. The men are all middle aged, successful, fathers (except George Clooney), and for lack of a better term, Hollywood hunks. If we then take a look at the ideals of feminism we range from Lady Gaga to Betty White. We have a combination of sex symbols and mothers; young, old, and in between; singers, actresses and a political/motherly figure. I think that each one of the women we came up with have good reason to be considered ideals of feminism. Lady Gaga and Marilyn Monroe are sex-symbols, confident and hugely successful. Michelle Obama brings the more ideal mother and wife characteristics. Lastly Betty White is humorous and successful even at 90 years old.
Why is there such diversity in what is considered feminine, while masculinity tends to be characterised fairly similarly? In my opinion, I think that society's definition of masculinity is in a way more so clear-cut than femininity, or in other words, the spectrum of ideal femininity is much broader than that of masculinity. I think that at one end of the spectrum for females is the sexy, third-wave feminists; while at the other end is the motherly, more proper women. While for men it seems like they can have characteristics from both ends; they can be hunky fathers.
Why is there such diversity in what is considered feminine, while masculinity tends to be characterised fairly similarly? In my opinion, I think that society's definition of masculinity is in a way more so clear-cut than femininity, or in other words, the spectrum of ideal femininity is much broader than that of masculinity. I think that at one end of the spectrum for females is the sexy, third-wave feminists; while at the other end is the motherly, more proper women. While for men it seems like they can have characteristics from both ends; they can be hunky fathers.
Sunday, 5 February 2012
Chlidren being Influenced
In class we watched a video called Sexy Inc.: Our Children Under Influence. While I was watching the video, I realized that I, along with many others I would imagine, do not even realize how much we are influenced by what we see, and how surprisingly easy it is for people's construal of reality to be altered. For instance at one point in the video the speaker said something about "tank tops with spaghetti straps," and I caught myself making fun of that statement in my head thinking like "Oh no, not spaghetti straps!" Then I realized that, I have probably just been influenced by society into thinking this way, because when I actually stop and think about it, a lot of spaghetti strap tops don't have very much material to them and don't cover much.
Also I think children need to have more parental guidance on such issues raised in the video, such as what is appropriate to wear, relationships, and other such behaviour. It seems to me like parents either must be getting a lot more lenient on children, or I had really strict parents. For example, I don't know how girls are even let out of the house in the clothes they wear, because if I came out of my room wearing something my dad didn't like, he would straight up tell me to go change. Also when they were talking about such young girls getting involved in sexual activity at such a young age, first of all it makes me really worried to ever have kids, but then I start thinking where are their parents, and how are such young children getting into this, because when I was 11 or 12 I didn't even know or want to know about most of the things they were talking about. Another example, when I was eight years old I specifically remember telling my best friend you do not need a man to get pregnant. As I was a few years younger than the stories from the video, I clearly just had no idea about anything to do with sex, while now 12 year olds are thinking sex is all dating relationships are about. That just completely shocks me. I really think however that parents aren't giving enough attention to their kids, so kids turn to other role models, such as relationships portrayed in the media, or older teens in their schools even. Or, parents may give their children too much attention, such as the children in TV shows such as Toddlers and Tiara's or Dance Mom's for example. These little girls look like miniature women. They wear as much make-up, skimpy clothes, and then they even try to perform like Britney Spears or Lady Gaga. I think that takes it way too far. I've danced my whole life, so when I was younger I got to wear cute costumes and make-up, but I knew that it was only on special days when I had a competition, and my mom didn't try to turn me into a mini version of a woman or choreograph inappropriate routines, and I still loved it. Below is an example of one of the routines the dancers (approximate ages are 8-11) off of Dance Mom's did at competition. It was incredibly inappropriate. I also posted one of Lady Gaga's music videos. Lady Gaga is probably one of Music's biggest pop stars right now, and with role models like her, it is no wonder children want to dance and dress sexy.
Also I think children need to have more parental guidance on such issues raised in the video, such as what is appropriate to wear, relationships, and other such behaviour. It seems to me like parents either must be getting a lot more lenient on children, or I had really strict parents. For example, I don't know how girls are even let out of the house in the clothes they wear, because if I came out of my room wearing something my dad didn't like, he would straight up tell me to go change. Also when they were talking about such young girls getting involved in sexual activity at such a young age, first of all it makes me really worried to ever have kids, but then I start thinking where are their parents, and how are such young children getting into this, because when I was 11 or 12 I didn't even know or want to know about most of the things they were talking about. Another example, when I was eight years old I specifically remember telling my best friend you do not need a man to get pregnant. As I was a few years younger than the stories from the video, I clearly just had no idea about anything to do with sex, while now 12 year olds are thinking sex is all dating relationships are about. That just completely shocks me. I really think however that parents aren't giving enough attention to their kids, so kids turn to other role models, such as relationships portrayed in the media, or older teens in their schools even. Or, parents may give their children too much attention, such as the children in TV shows such as Toddlers and Tiara's or Dance Mom's for example. These little girls look like miniature women. They wear as much make-up, skimpy clothes, and then they even try to perform like Britney Spears or Lady Gaga. I think that takes it way too far. I've danced my whole life, so when I was younger I got to wear cute costumes and make-up, but I knew that it was only on special days when I had a competition, and my mom didn't try to turn me into a mini version of a woman or choreograph inappropriate routines, and I still loved it. Below is an example of one of the routines the dancers (approximate ages are 8-11) off of Dance Mom's did at competition. It was incredibly inappropriate. I also posted one of Lady Gaga's music videos. Lady Gaga is probably one of Music's biggest pop stars right now, and with role models like her, it is no wonder children want to dance and dress sexy.
Wednesday, 1 February 2012
Fragile
After watching Brene Brown's TED talk, I was reminded of this song. I actually choreographed a dance to Delta Goodrem's song Fragile in 2010, which I thought would be more interesting than just posting the song to listen to. At about 2 minutes and 20 seconds into the song, it says:
If people can see right through my eyes
Like an open door that I can't disguise
I won't be afraid from the tears I cry
I'll not run I'll not hide this is how I feel inside
A little Fragile
This part I especially related to Brene Brown's talk. She talked about having the courage to be imperfect. I feel like this part of the song means that you can't be afraid to let people see who you really are; not being embarrassed if other people see your pain, but rather embracing feelings of vulnerability by letting our true selves and feelings be seen. Through this, we will achieve personal growth and acceptance of ourselves, through which we will ultimately be able to live fuller lives.
Tuesday, 31 January 2012
Vulnerability
I looked up the word vulnerability in the dictionary and the definition it provided was: Capable of being physically or emotionally wounded or hurt. The video we watch in class today was called The Power of Vulnerability. As I was trying to understand what Brene Brown was talking about and relate it to my life, I came up with the idea that in order to live life to the fullest, I need to be open to vulnerability. I need to take chances; believe in myself; and not pretend to be anything I'm not. I have to realize that sometimes life is going to hurt and sometimes I will be let down; while also realizing that by not taking chances, I may just be putting off the inevitable hurt. Relating this to relationships, by having the courage to say 'I love you' first, you are putting yourself into a vulnerable position, and there's the possibility that they won't say it back. Of course this will hurt, but from my understanding of the video I think that it would be better to have put yourself into this vulnerable position and be let down now, than to merely continue pretending that your partner loves you back while you fall further into love, because later on down the road the topic is going to have to come up eventually and it will just hurt more when you realize your love isn't mutual. This kind of happened to me in a relationship I had just outside of high school. My boyfriend said I love you, but I was young and not ready for that. He kept saying it, and I kept. . . not saying it, and we both pretended like I might eventually say I loved him. We eventually broke up, and now that I am older and know how it feels to be in love with someone, I know how hard that must have been for him. He laid his emotions completely out on the table, and I can only imagine how much pain that caused him to never hear me say it. Brene Brown talked in her video about not pretending; just being yourself; and having the courage to let go of who you should be by embracing who you are. I think this means that it doesn't matter what other people expect of you; live in the moment and be able to express yourself; you shouldn't back away from positions of vulnerability, because in order to find out who we are, every once in a while we need to be "physically or emotionally wounded or hurt."
Sunday, 22 January 2012
The Medium is More Important than the Content of the Actual Message
In class we watched The Vagina Monologues; the particular play we watched was called "When I Was Twelve," which was basically just a bunch of stories about women getting their first periods. Honestly, I wasn't a fan of the video; it was hard to follow and the women in it seemed almost angry as they told their stories. From what I understood, it seemed as though they were trying to get across a message that women should feel like they can talk about getting their periods, yet in the way the play was set out, the women portrayed feelings of bitterness, which I thought contrasted the point they were trying to make. I understand that they were just trying to bring humour to the subject to make people feel more comfortable talking about it, however maybe I am just conservative, but I thought the play was kind of vulgar. I believe that women should be able to talk openly about their bodies and ask questions without men or even other women cringing, but I don't think that women should make it into an obnoxious joke completely opposite to the reality many women feel, because I doubt I am alone in thinking this, but personally that won't make me feel anymore comfortable talking about my period. The next day in class we watched Private Dicks: Men Exposed, which was very open and the men in it seemed real, honest, and willing to talk about their sexuality. For me, this just furthered the idea that men are able to talk openly about their bodies, while women are discouraged from it. Therefore the way a message is portrayed, is often more important than what is actually discussed in the message.
Wednesday, 18 January 2012
Habermas' Paradigms
Habermas' paradigms consist of three different ways of looking at the world which include Empirical-analytic, Critical-theoretic and Situational interpretive. A situation that I came up with to relate to each of these paradigms is dating. Using the Empirical-analytic perspective, justification is made through observations, measurement, and prediction. In relation to dating, people may find that it is the male role to ask out the female, to pick her up, and to pay for the meal, because this is generally the norm for how dating relationships take place, and this is how dating is portrayed often in real life and the media. This is a very objective way of looking at dating. Using the Situational interpretive method, people base their opinions on a subject upon their previous experiences and feelings. Therefore, in a dating relationship, the female may feel like they shouldn't or can't ask out the male, because that is not how their past relationships have taken place. They may feel like it is not their responsibility, because it is generally acknowledged to be the males place. This is more of a subjective way of looking at dating. In the Critical-theoretic model, we find more of a fault-finding approach. People using this approach may look further into a situation for deeper or hidden meanings. Therefore using this approach in a dating relationship, one may find that either the male or female can take the first step, as males can be just as shy as females. When it comes to paying for the date, which tends to fall under the responsibility of the male too, a critical theorist might suggest that in modern times, males and females are considered equal. Females are able to earn equal or higher salaries than men, so they should alternate paying for dates.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)